Life as a New Christian
Dear God, since I usually perceive everything in the natural, I interpret my feeling of freedom and joy during church as simply a product of human persuasion and atmospheric musical awesomeness. However, when I look at it that way, I feel as if I am being manipulated so I become resistant. If I were to look at it as You giving me hope and joy, then I wouldn’t be resistant because You are not a God of manipulation – You only change us in order to reduce deception.
Man, I don’t know why music makes You more real to me, but I cannot accept the hypothesis that music is manipulating me. It is changing me, it is bending me, but it is not manipulating me because it is a tool being used by You to reduce deception not increase it. And the church has the same motives. The last thing they want is to produce a bunch of hypocritical Christians who only love You in the presence of music.
The thing about tools is that they are not a stable, everlasting mechanism for change. Tools are not useless, but one cannot rely on tools alone to draw near to You. We need to have a more solid foundation that stabilizes every aspect of our life, not just those aspects that involve music. With a solid foundation, we will not leave church and lose faith just because there is no music to stimulate us. I suppose we could just turn some on, but who wants to be dependent on music? Sometimes silence is good, and if we can’t feel You in the silence, then we know we have become dependent on an earthly tool instead of divine intervention.
But how do we invite divine intervention into our lives? My understanding is that it is a humble surrender of the mind, followed by a rush of admiration and love, and footstep after footstep of faith in His promises.