Is Dedication a Dirty Word?

Dear God, I’ll get lost in thought for hours, staring into space and thinking about puzzling things, trying to figure them out. I need You to renew my mind because I am still following old thought patterns and attitudes about Christianity.  When I think these doubtful thoughts I sometimes think they are somehow protecting me from infiltration by cultish, blind belief.  As if!

I’ve already established in my mind that it is the Truth so why would I ever think that it wasn’t?  One reason might be that there are way too many perspectives in the world, and my brain likes to entertain them all in order to be thorough.  Focusing on one perspective for longer than a few hours feels like I am ignoring some important discrepancy for the sake of maintaining dedicated faith.

However, I have to understand that the questions and doubts are only occurring because that is how our brains are used to functioning due to all the outrageous claims people make, some true, some not.  Our brains have only become this way because of this influx of conflicting information – it is a survival mechanism that we could not function without.  However helpful this survival mechanism is, it is possible to have too much of good thing.

Often when I think about doubt, I feel like I have to figure it out, not always for my sake but  for the sake of others with questions. While I may not be able to experience every religion in the world to determine its truth, I must trust that what I am experiencing now is the only truth I need to save my soul.  It may seem like I am ignoring some things for the sake of dedication, but how will I be able to dedicate myself to anything if I do not reject those things in opposition?

Although trust obviously has its risks, it is a risk we must take sometimes, because wavering trust will leave us unable to make any important decisions with confidence.  Everything we do here on Earth is done with an expectation of and faith in a certain outcome.  The more confidence we have in this outcome, the more passion is behind our actions.

Everyone would agree that passion and confidence help you achieve success in your career and your marriage.  Wouldn’t that be true in everything we do?  Or is religion an exception?  Shouldn’t we strive to maximize our confidence in things that are important to us?  Or do these things necessitate a dash of doubt just like everything else?

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