Between the Altar and the Door

In my last post, I mentioned “a surrender of the mind.”  However, that is not easy, especially for me.

What is so bad about letting go?  Why do I feel like I am being manipulated by the pastor’s words and the worship band’s music? Manipulation means changing something for a bad or selfish purpose. Manipulation doesn’t refer to all types of initiated change because many changes are good.

I don’t think it’s called manipulation if it’s true, is it?  In the movie, Inception, the main character had to change the perception of his wife in order to get her back into the real world. He had good intentions, but he didn’t know exactly what the consequences would be.  Since the consequences were bad, one might want to call what he did “manipulation.” Whatever you want to call it, changing people’s perceptions is inherently good no matter the consequences if done for the right reasons, such as exposing truth.

I know Christianity is true and I know the church doesn’t have bad motives and yet I still don’t like being persuaded.  I don’t know why. I feel like I’m being sold something, and things that are awesome don’t need to be sold. I guess I want to be “sold” on God without all the pomp and circumstance of church.

Maybe the atmosphere of church doesn’t seem as dramatic and showy when you feel passionate about God outside of church as well. The reason I feel manipulated is that I don’t usually feel as passionate outside of church, and that is unfortunate because I can’t always rely on my emotional response to music and passionate language. There is nothing wrong with such things, but I think I rely too heavily on them alone.

I’ll leave you with a song about what it’s like to lose faith as soon as you walk out of church:


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