How do you view yourself?
I see so much selfishness in me, and no matter how hard I try to love God more than my desires, I never succeed. Eventually, I just stop trying.
Persistence is good, but at some point, I have to accept that I am helpless without God. All I can “do” in order to love him is to admit that no part of my flesh has the ability to love him, and to accept his love for me in spite of this.
But my focus is still on forcing my flesh to love him. I think that if I fail, it will prove that I have “fraudulent faith.” In reality, it just proves that I have a sin nature – which I knew already.